Hey guys!! I hope you enjoyed yesterdays post on how the devil can use those closest to us to make us feel not worthy. Ive tried in the past few days to write exactly whats on my mind and share what God is teaching me each day. Today is no exception. I learn something new each day that I grow in my relationship with Him.
This week things just aren’t/werent quite working out the way I wanted them to. Whether it be people or situations, I found myself being irritated easier and quick to give into negative thinking and my anxiety. Ive tried my hardest these past two days to be in constant prayer and sermons/ podcasts and also reading scripture to get answers as to why I am having these problems.
You see these past few weeks have been easy. Nothing short of a miracle really. Everything was lining up and then things started going wrong. My grandmother got sick, my relationships were in trouble and I found myself right back in the mess, a different mess, but still a mess. Now I know we aren’t meant to live a perfect life and have perfect situations but these things that hit me this week were hard things to deal with. People walking away from me because of issues I have that need to be dealt with, possibly losing the most important person in my life, and friends being distant.
Ever since I started this journey of sharing my faith I have been honest. Honest about my miracles, my faith, and my mistakes. Today I want to share with you something that is going to be important for you to hear.
Even when you are walking the path of righteousness God is going to break you a few more times before you become who He wants you to be. I was listening to a sermon by TD Jakes called Sweat Equity and I swear to you I have these moments in my life when God comes through someone else and speaks directly to me. He preaches to me as if He were right here standing in front of me having a conversation with me. Pastor Jakes sermon explains how we get something we have wanted and wished and prayed for, that God gives it to us and what do we do? We fail Him. We take advantage of this miracle He has given us. Now this can mean many different things to you depending on what you have wanted most in life. It could mean a job or a relationship or even a child.
I encourage you to listen to the message but I want to explain how it changed me. God had given me this relationship. Nothing short of perfection. Everything I had ever prayed for and in ways I didnt even know I needed someone to be. But being of the flesh I gave in. I gave into my anxiety and overthinking. I chose to believe the devils lies and didnt replace those lies with Gods truth.
I spent the majority of my life being rejected. Whether it was my dad or relationships everyone was always leaving. It was a pattern and reoccurrence in my life. I had a root of rejection that needed to be broken. In Pastor Jakes sermon he explains how God will break us time and time again, just like you would break a horse, to deal with these issues of believing the devil and not relying on His truth. He gives you something you have wanted your entire life and you choose the easy way, the normal way of thinking you’ve chosen for however many years you’ve dealt with your specific issue. You caved into the devils schemes to ruin what you have been given. A divine God given opportunity wasted.
When we let the devil get in our minds and make us overthink things it can create many different emotions of fear, anxiety, and worry. And for someone that has never dealt with anxiety they won’t understand how your mind works and it can be intimidating. It takes a really strong person to be able to handle someone who struggles with anxiety.
But what I have learned after two days of soul searching I can tell you without a doubt God will be there each time He breaks you to pick you back up again. He will break you as quick as He made you and then let you suffer until you realize you are the problem. Your issues are ruining His plan for you and until you get down to the root of the problem you cannot be trusted with His miracles and blessings He has in store for you. Call it a “break” from your destiny. You have this root of whatever that needs to be dug up and detached from you. It is dragging you down and keeping you from your purpose.
He broke me. Yet again. And I am SO thankful. I addressed my issue of rejection and prayed for deliverance. You can do the same. No matter how big your root is God isn’t scared of it and its not too big for Him to deal with. If you ask Him to take the root away He will but you have to be broken enough to see the root.
I hope this doesnt discourage you but motivates you to ask God to reveal your roots. Dont let your past dictate your future. Holding onto old feelings will only keep you from the life you were put here to live and your purpose you were meant to fulfill. Trust in God an His plan for your life. Be in constant humility and have zero pride because the more you are like that the easier God can work in you.
Hebrews 4:16 says, “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”
xoxo -A
