Hey guys!! I read a book the other day and I thought it would be fun to do my first book review!! Also I wanted to say thank you to everyone who is doing the Ruth Bible study with me!! I shared what I learned in Ruth chapter one yesterday and recorded a podcast that went more in detail. I think you all will really enjoy the book and I have already learned so much from it!! Lets review this book!!
I want to start off by saying thank you to the friend who recommended this book to me on Instagram. Just like a few months ago, when God placed Uninvited into my life at just the right time, this book was handed to me by Him through her as well. I love moments like that when God speaks directly to me rather it be through a book or a podcast or even a friend.
The book is called “The Man God Has for You” by Stephan Labossiere. You can tell by the title what its about but thats not what was so profound for me in his message. I learned so much about myself while reading this book.
Stephans book is on seven traits that are to help us determine the man God has for us.
They are pretty straightforward and solid advice if you ask me. I want to go into each of these but first just re read these and think of the person that God has put in your life right now (or the man you hope to find). Does he fit these? Is there an area he needs work? If you find yourself seeing that he does not line up with one of these traits then maybe thats a sign for you to address the issue and if he doesnt make changes then you should only keep him as a friend.
Now we as women have plenty to work on and he covers a lot of that in this book which is why I am so glad I found the book in the first place. I needed some of the advice towards my own self that he tells us. The person God gave to me was all of these things listed above but I needed the advice Stephan outlines and we will go over that too.
Lets go into each chapter (trait) and Im going to highlight what I loved most about each. Stephans quotes will be in quotations and I will give you my thoughts on what stood out to me.
1. YOU WILL BE ATTRACTED TO HIM
On the law of attraction. “Yes, it may come in an unexpected package, and not fit the dynamic or the qualifications other people think you should shoot for, however, what will speak loudest is your joy happiness, positive energy, and desire for your partner. That should be there and attraction is a big part of it.” When God gave me this man I remember looking at his pictures and telling my friends, “Hes just not my type”. Little did I know I would end up being more attracted to him than I would have been to anyone in ANY previous relationship. Not only because hes a total hunk but because of his love for me and Jesus. If I can tell you one thing about “attraction” its that if he loved Jesus it makes him jump at least 4 points on the scale.
2. HIS LOVE WILL UPLIFT YOU NOT BREAK YOU
This was a very important chapter for me. I learned a lot about myself. In the preface and beginning of the book Stephan tells us as women, we have steps to take to be ready for a relationship. One of those steps for me has been healing from my past. Ive had a ton of rejection I had to get to the bottom of and ask God to heal me and deliver me from it and I believe that He has. Stephan says, ” You will notice healing from your past is a repeated foundation of not only accepting love, but also being able to recognize the man God has for you”. This is very important for you to read and ask God to reveal your “roots” from your past. If you have any. If you do find that He reveals some negative roots then its important that you ask for deliverance from them so you can be living a full and abundant life in Christ. If do not notice roots of your past it can keep you from “recognizing the toxic relationship or person you are dealing with“, Stephan says.
Hes not saying there won’t be arguments but he says that there is a difference between mistakes and real issues. I was having real issues. My root of rejection wasn’t allowing me to be vulnerable to accepting love. I was overthinking and second guessing myself and the relationship out of fear of my past repeating itself. But the beauty of the situation is that I recognized the problem, I asked forgiveness from God and the person, and God delivered me from my root of rejection. Now im not saying I will never again have those thoughts go through my head but what I am saying is that I now know they are coming from the devil and that I have power through God to overcome them. Colossians 1:29 says,”For this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me.” There are many verses on how through God we have power. We can do all things through God who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). Dont let your mistakes become real issues. Allow God to dig up your root so you can be accepting of the love you deserve.
3. YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO MAKE HIM INTO A MAN
This chapter was pretty self explanatory. Stephan says, ” God did not make you to be a mans crutch.” Too many ladies are out there trying to fix men (story of my life). We are attracted to the broken and the weak (because thats the only example of a “man” that we know). Let me be the first to tell you, I have dated males that needed a good kick in the rear end. They didnt have a mama that taught them how to treat a lady if you know what I mean. But is it their fault that I allowed them to treat me that way? No. But I didnt know my worth, I didnt know how loved I already was by someone who died to know me. Like in the first chapter Stephan says we have to recognize our worth so we can decide who is worthy enough of us being a blessing and who is our best fit. Its taken me 28 years to figure this out. I had to be broken down time and time again before this clicked for me. My new goal is to teach young women their worth. To help them navigate through their teenage and college years so that they can not make the same mistakes I did. I believe that is my purpose, to help the broken hearted. We were created to be a blessing to someone, which means we have to be whole in God before we can be that but they must be whole as well. Stephan says,” “When you can testify to what He has done you are able to impact other people and make them say I want what she is having and they will know the only way to get it is through God.” It is so true. The only way you can be as happy as I am even in the midst of trails and learning is through God. People ask me all the time how did you heal so quickly and I tell them every time through God.
Another important thing I have to mention is when Stephan says,“If you have become tired of the dating process stop wasting your time when you date.It is quite simple.Part of the reason you are tired is because you drag out dead end situations with men you should not entertain for so long.” You have to allow yourself to say no to something that is not right for you. Stop entertaining ideas of “what if”. “What if he changes”. You can’t carry a relationship on someones potential. You can remain friends until they are where they need to be then try again.
4. HE WANTS A HELPMATE NOT A PLAYMATE
Stephan begins this chapter by saying,”Boys always want to play, while men are ready to work.” And if anything is true in a relationship it is this. There will be no games with the man that God has for you. He will be confident in what he says to you. He will not second guess himself. He will know exactly what he wants. He won’t say let just “go with the flow”. Thats a boy trying to have his cake and eat it too. A real man will realize he never had a choice of picking his wife because God already had her chosen for him. He will know. He won’t question it and if he does he will be smart enough to keep it to himself because he knows that is the devil trying to get him away from Gods will for him. 2 Timothy 1:7 (CSB) says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” A man of God will know this.