Its a friday today and normally I would be at Jeff’s game but I decided to stay home tonight and watch some videos and relax from a busy week. Sometimes the smallest things lead to the biggest revelations. Staying home led to me thinking about what I would normally be doing on a Friday in my 20’s and even in my teens. I was just thinking of how grateful I am for God having His hand on my life and guiding me to where Im meant to be. Trust me it took a while for me to surrender my plans for His but I want to give you a word (hope) today I feel He is giving me to share.

Any normal Friday or Saturday night in my teens was spent going out to bars with friends or parties in high school and college. One theme only and that was to impress the guy I was into. Everything from the way I was dressing to what I was saying had him in mind.

Fast forward to my twenties and not a lot changed. I had several long term relationships and sure enough that same behavior replayed itself every Friday and Saturday night leading into the week too. Sundays were a big day for brunch and it would often be the struggle of do I pretend like I dont care and go hang with friends when all I really want is to spend it with him to gain more approval or do I just stay one more night and cater to him again.

Even up until I found Jeff I still struggled with the dependance of needing to find “the one” to complete myself. It wasn’t until I gave those feelings over to God and had a total revelation of what He wanted for me and really started focusing on Him and working on myself did I actually find “the one”. Funny how that works.

Let me just get really relatable for a second. You’re getting ready at your best friends house and you’re about to go downtown. Your snap chatting (I’m old ok?) your outfit and makeup hoping he sees it and knows your out. When you walk in the bar (that you know he’s at or might be at) you are “on” and its life of the party smiling laughing and not a care in the world. Or so you’re pretending. It didn’t matter if it was the guy that cheated on me or the guy that ghosted me it was always the same cat and mouse game that was played. Maybe you relate to me but maybe you dont. Either way it was miserable and desperate. Not a cute look.

I have a feeling the reason I was called to open this laptop and start writing this (as embarrassing as it is to admit) is because some of you needed to hear what Gods trying to tell you. He’s trying to tell you to shift your attention. Shift it to your self growth and your relationship with Him. The only two things that are important for you to find the right one.

You can go to bars, post the snap chat, wear the revealing outfit, but at the end of the day if he’s making you chase him HE ISN’T IT. The only advice I can give you to how I knew Jeff was the one other than morally and everything else lining up is that HE NEVER MADE ME QUESTION HIS INTENTIONS.

There was someone else before him who seemed like he was it. Then it was ghost city and I made every excuse in the book for him and why it was still the right thing for me. Sister Im here to tell you God made it so clear to me why he wasn’t it and the one youre chasing isn’t it : the one thats meant for you won’t make you guess. He won’t not answer or text back. He won’t leave you wondering his intentions. He will pursue you just like God does every single day. Not one day and then not the next because he was “out of town” or “busy”. I hear it time after time with my friends, well he’s just “busy” or “ya he’s out of town”. No. No one is without their phone for 24-48 hours these days unless he is in jail or dead. He just isn’t the one for you.

Ive never felt a stronger urge than this one to tell you to shift your focus. Stop chasing the world. Stop chasing that guy. Stop chasing the attention and dependance on anything other than your relationship with yourself and your relationship with Him.

Trust me the moment you let it go thats when you see the change youre craving so badly. Your life will literal fall into place. God will then have room to work and perform the miracles you want so badly. But if you keep resisting youre just setting yourself back that much farther. Just let it go. Switch the bar to a coffee shop with an old friend. Switch the Sunday “brunch” to church or a bible study. “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

It will be hard for some of you to make the changes necessary for growth because your life is filled with the wrong people and situations that you’ve been putting yourself in. You’ll have to lose friends and maybe even family members who partake in the activities that are stunting your growth. But it is necessary to get you to where you need to be. It is better to be alone with God than surrounded by people who never wanted the best for you anyway.

I hope this doesn’t come off preachy. I hope that you know I get it. I understand it all comes from a place of not wanting to be lonely. God doesn’t want you lonely. He wants to give you your hearts desires (“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4). He wants to lead you to where you’re meant to be but you have to take the first step to reach out to Him and allow Him to do it for you. It only takes one conversation with Him and surrendering your life and plans to Him. Trust me it is the best thing I ever did.

I hope you know how much you are loved. By Him and by me. If you’re ever lonely and wanting to message him message me instead (@airellesnyder IG) and Ill talk you through it. If your friends won’t listen and you feel like they’ll make fun of you message me and Ill talk to you about it. You’re never alone. You’re struggles aren’t new to Him. They have happened many times before but there is always one answer and that is surrendering to Him. Lots of love to you! xo -A